I am in a women’s Bible study reading through Job. We are reading a study about Job being an unlikely story of joy. Joy? Job?
In the first week’s video, the author interviews a woman who went to the hospital to deliver twins and returns home after delivering two still born sons unexpectedly. She has to explain to her five year old why she is not meeting her brothers. I started crying. After all this time.
It was my loss open again. Explaining to people why I no longer had kids. It was her story, . . . but it felt like a different version of my story. And I realized that I am still grieving. For, when the kids left, it closed a chapter called Motherhood. A chapter I was writing. A chapter I had wanted in my book of life since I was a little girl.
When you have a dream, you work towards achieving it. And changing direction, closing a chapter, or omitting a chapter you had planned to include can be a shock to self. I am writing other chapters- good ones. But, that chapter was supposed to be a large one, and I’m still working on filling the gap that it left when I removed it from my book.
What chapter did you close? What chapter are you currently writing?
-Elle